• [TOXIC LOVE] • ~john drumhellers blog~

Updates!!
Posted by Johnny on Tue Jan 05, 2010

So since Christmas I was sick and basically had a sore throat that would not go away. It basically got so bad that I couldn't eat or drink anything and I lost so much weight because of it. I was at 108 lbs before the sore throat started and yesterday I went do the doctors I got my weight checked and I was down to 92 lbs.

But anyway I went to the ER like 3 times to try and figure out what was wrong with me and why my sore throat wouldn't go away. They told me that it was just a viral infection. But then yesterday I went to go see my liver doctor and he looked at my throat and he said that my throat didn't look normal and he said that it looked like a abscess to him. So he sent me to see a doctor that deals with stuff like that.

So me and my mom had to go up to the doctors to get my throat checked and they checked and and we found out that it was a abscess and that they would have to pop it. So they got all the stuff to do it. And to make a long story short it was the WORST FUCKING PAIN I EVER FELT IN MY LIFE!!!!!!

So basically after they cut it open and got all the puss out of it. I got admitted to the hospital for observation over night! I am so happy that my liver doctor figured out what was wrong, but at the same time it makes me mad that the doctors at the ER couldn't figure out what was wrong! But I do feel better now that I had that surgery thing done, even though it was the worst thing I ever had done to me it was worth it!!

Anyway next month I have to see the doctors again to talk about getting my tonsils removed. Which isn't going to be to much fun because I'm not a fan of pain, unless I have GOOD pain killers. So hopefully they give me some shit haha!! But thats all I really have to update on right now I'll blog again when I get more time.

Our Love Story Posted by Johnny on Tue Mar 02, 2010
I'm heart broken at the moment. I was dumped yesterday. It sucks honestly. The guy I was dating was the most amazing guy ever and now I lost him. I feel so depressed and been crying basically all day since yesterday. I really loved this guy. Even though I had surgery last week on my throat and my throat is still very sore I wrote/recorded a song explaining how I feel. It kinda sounds bad but I don't care, this song came straight from the heart. Enjoy

I thought I did But I Don't Know Who You Are! Posted by Johnny on Mon Feb 15, 2010
So last night I was talking to my ex David on the phone for about 2 hours, and he admitted to me that he misses me and he wishes that I was single. It hurts me to say this, but a part of me will always love David, but I never see us being together again. Mostly for the fact that he is in college, and I only see him on breaks from college. And how is a relationship suppose to work out if I never see him? You know what I mean? I had some great times with David, but at the end of the day I needed more. I don't really know how to explain it actually. David will always have a special place in my heart. He is a really amazing guy, and when he finds a guy to be with, that guy will be a very lucky guy. David is the type of guy you don't want to let get away. He is very kind hearted and is always there for you if you need someone. Part of me wishes I didn't let him get away but I found somebody who makes me happy, and I see him more then I got to see David. His name is Aaron and hes a really amazing guy, a little weird & dorky at times, but I love that about him, because I am weird & dorky like 99% of the time!

Sick Of People! Posted by Johnny on Fri Jan 29, 2010
I feel so betrayed by so many people. I'm seriously crying while writing this. I feel like I can't trust anyone anymore. I trust someone enough to tell them something and they go and tell a bunch of people. I'm to the point where I want to drop EVERYONE in my life except my family. I honestly can't take it anymore, it has me so depressed and hurt! I thought I could trust my one friend with telling her something that was bothering me the other day, and she couldn't keep her mouth shut, she had to go and blab to people about it. Like I'm seriously just going to keep to myself anymore and not tell ANYONE what's on my mind. Similar thing happened again, I did something with somebody, not going to say what it was or with who. But to make a long story short, they told a bunch of their friends what we did. And you know it pisses me off. Like you don't go and tell your friends what we do!!! I'm just so hurt by soooo many of my friends its unbelievable, thats why I want to drop everyone in my life and just say fuck it to all my friends. I can't trust anyone anymore.

It's Alright, It's Ok!! Posted by Johnny on Sun Jan 17, 2010
It's alright, it's ok, is something I've been saying to myself for the past few days. Because even with the drama that's been going on I know that I will be okay in the end. I've learned not to let the drama get to me, like let people talk shit all they want I'm not going to let it phase me! I am a very strong person and I know better then to let the mean words people say get to me. People just need to learn to grow up and stop starting shit with people. Its so immature. Like with all the drama that has gone down between me and this one guy because he was jealous, it didn't phase me. I think jealousy is stupid. But whatever, people can talk shit all they want cause at the end of the day I'll be the bigger person and just walk away and not let it phase me.